Ruminations: That Hand Rocks the Cradle

No, this is not a commentary on Rebecca De Mornay's turn as a psychopathic nanny in the 90s classic The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. (That would make a good book though.) But her turn in a patently female role as well as watching the film Wonder Woman got me to thinking about the beginnings of gender roles in society. From whence do they come?

In reading Flowers in the Attic, I automatically assumed I would want to discuss sibling relationships, particularly (spoiler alert!) incest. But as I continued reading, I kept wondering about the origins of gender role expectations. The two eldest siblings Christopher (14) and Cathy (12) have to manage their younger siblings' and their own lives as they live in their grandparents' attic. That's a heavy weight to bear at a stage when their gendered identity development is even more encumbered by their biological evolution. They can't just be kid siblings anymore; they have to be mother and father. That grated at me as these two had slipped into traditional parental roles. Although they did share the responsibilities of rearing their twin siblings, Cathy represents the softness of a burgeoning motherhood and limited agency in development, while Christopher is the protector and keeper of knowledge, forever "manslaining" everything as if Cathy can't possibly know what she is talking about. It could be sibling tension, or it could spell out the future for the both of them: Christopher can enjoy his white male privilege while Cathy will have to juggle becoming a top ballerina and rocking the cradle.

But then I had this thought: without their parents' consistent presence, did Cathy and Christopher learn enough to fulfill the socially prescribed expectations of man and woman? Or could their inherent biological traits dictate what roles they would effortlessly fall into? While gender as a social construction has become an accepted idea, I have yet to hear commentary on how our biological makeup works for or against us in a society of pre-subscribed identities. Am I supposed to be a mother just because I have a uterus? Is a man not supposed to be a stay-at-home-dad because of his physical strength? Is a woman not supposed to lead a tech company because she's nurturing?  Are men supposed to cheat just because they higher sex drives? So, how much have we not only let nature dictate nurture, but how much have we let this relationship determine what roles we take and the roles we expect others to fulfill?

I think a larger question is what is our relationship to our biological sex and gender identities? Do we know what they are? More importantly, where does our humanity lie outside of our gender and sexuality?

While I don't advocate smoking, I think you should let this one sit in your proverbial pipe.

Come back on June 25th for the review of this twisted Dollanganger family drama!